Simone de Beauvoir said “one is not born a woman, one becomes a woman.” In reflecting on her words, I’m starting to see some clear distinctions between my pre-womanhood era and womanhood: 

1. I was in my mid thirties staying at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. Without thinking about it at all, I wandered from my suite down to Bouchon Bakery situated in the foyer on the main floor of the hotel for a coffee and pastry. I debuted in my slippers, hair up in a whimsical knot, without a  hint of makeup. In my 20’s (pre-womanhood) I would have died of a coffee craving first before running out unbeautified.
2.  More of my choices about life, love and career reflect my soul rather than my ego. (My ego is still on stage –I am no Eckhart Tolle – it’s just that my ego isn’t front and centre as often or nearly as influential of an actor). 
3. I shop for my daughter’s wardrobe first. She gets the larger serving of my favorite pasta or the window seat or the last cookie… 
4. I can count on a certain peacefulness within myself; A peacefulness that is readily accessible whenever I allow myself to unclench a little and sink just below the surface of my life. 
5. I laugh easier.
6. In my 20’s the bad boys kept catching my eye or at least the ones with a sharp edge about them. Now I have a deep appreciation for my husband’s inner stillness. I adore his tenderness. I love how gorgeous he is wearing sport socks! I admire his quiet confidence – he stands in life as himself, entirely. And his greying hair is very sexy (I even hope he gets glasses one day!)
7. There is far more sensuality in my daily experiences.
8. The blind faith that I had in my 20’s that allowed me to be very carefree, select a university overnight, run this way and then that, has morphed into real or true faith. A deeply rooted knowing that life will go on and I will be okay even though people die, life is extremely hard some days, and chocolate cake and everything else divinely rich or buttery dive bombs for my hips. 
9. I consult myself on the more significant choices in my life, holding regular meetings on the bigger stuff. The final decisions come from within and there isn’t so much anguish over what I let go of.
10. Much more money is spent on face cream.
11. That abrasive fear of “who will be out there with me in life!” has been replaced by a quietly reassuring voice that says “Oh yes I will be out there with me. I will always be out there with me.” And there is great comfort in this reality.
12. “Frigg am I having a heart attack?!” seems to be a new ideology.
13. I am aware of so much more beauty in the world, in my friends, in my children. Life, the simplest of moments, seems to be overflowing with rare and precious beauty.
14. *I am putting a star next to this one because I think it is by far the most life impacting:  I have come to know an inner strength that has the power to endure and outlive all that I face. A strength that is more powerful and loving than any fear, hardship, hurt or loss. I trust that this strength will live on and continue to be there for me no matter what. I am unequivocally confident in this because after all I am still here, still finding peace and joy, still loving and laughing, still moving even further into the glory of womanhood.

All my best,

Carrie

I wish to use today’s post as a very loving and important reminder for you: To recognize all that you are doing and doing well.

What are you doing as a parent for your children?

What are you doing to work towards your dreams?

What are you accomplishing in your day?

What are the ways you show  love?

What are you in the process of creating for yourself?

What are the steps you have taken so far?

What are the ways you have felt  fear and forged ahead anyhow?

What are you letting go of?

What are you changing?

What are you doing for your body?

What have you done to get yourself this far?

What are you composing in your mind?

What are you facilitating for you and your family given the circumstances?

What have you faced and survived in this last year?

Give yourself the gift of seeing all that you are doing.

Smile on the inside at what you see.

Carrie

Even though I live in southern California, I still feel the change of seasons that are taking place in my homeland Canada. It’s really strange but true. Last week we had highs of 72 degrees here yet I was craving roasted squash, pumpkin pie,  beets… the types of food that come to harvest on sleepy Vancouver Island this time of year. Filling my home with warm cozy spices and scents such as cinnamon, cardamon, roasting turkey… So last week I cooked a  roasted chicken dinner with all the fixings – cranberry sauce, stuffed squash, gravy, roasted veggies-  finishing off with pumpkin pie topped with maple whipped cream. Just can’t take the Canadian out of the girl no matter how far from home she roams!  Now if only we had a fireplace here in California I could sit next to with one of those spiced pumpkin lattes!

In my work I get to coach wonderful women who love to do it all. Entrepreneurial spirited women with families, a range of interests and passions who care about their health and living inspired lives. At some point or another (maybe you can relate) we find ourselves unraveling. Rather than doing it all, we feel we aren’t doing any of it well. It might sound like “I am so tired. I can’t focus. I am not spending enough time with the kids. Oh god I havent’ been exercising. I can’t create…” The unraveling seems to include all the important pieces of our lives and we feel terrible, blue and often quite anxious. And the anxiety only builds on itself. Change is necessary yet where to start when feeling so worn out, uninspired, and off course? How do we turn things around?

I am inclined to believe that the pieces of my life (focus, creativity, energy, my emotional state and so on) are directly connected or linked. So, if everything is linked up, where does it make the most sense to take action first?

If I am struggling to be creative or focus on work for example, my tendency in the past would have been to stay tied to my computer and suffer until something breaks through. However I’ve learned that imprisonment only leads to more suffering, blockage, lack of focus and fatigue. For me, sometimes exercise is the best place to start as it gives me energy, clears out some of the swampy stuff in my mind allowing me to focus, it helps me sleep making me feel more rested,and  more rest helps me cope and so on. You see how starting with exercise impacts all the pieces that are linked up? I don’t stress about taking an hour away from work anymore when I am off course. I feel confident that doing so will begin to turn things around.

The change is not a miracle that occurs overnight – it takes time but it does indeed begin to take shape. Where would be the best place for you to take action first?

Carrie

Yesterday we had friends over for brunch. I made homemade donuts for dessert. We dipped the bite sized bliss into chocolate ganache, toasted almonds and raspberry puree. For me it was heaven; the donuts, the dark coffee and chatting with friends while the little ones ran in and out from under the canopy of the elm tree -  its long branches reaching down to the ground like a grandfather’s loving and protective arms.

I realized I could be quite content making donuts for my friends every day, especially Doug. He seemed to love them. What could possibly be wrong with doing what we love each day even if it’s a simple and small act of making donuts? What could possibly go wrong with dedicating your day to joy?

Making donuts for Doug doesn’t solve world hunger nor does it make a massive contribution to mankind. But in a microcosmic way, doing what you love everyday for the sake of nothing more than the joy and the creative endevor, tips our lives towards the light. And that seemingly small personal adjustment does impact the collective; shinier, happier people out on the road of life.

Furthermore, isn’t it when we dwell here – I’m in my blissful donut making state of mind – that the other pieces of life’s puzzle such as financial stability and success sort themselves out?  Don’t those larger pieces come together as a natural consequence of devoting your day to doing what you love?

Carrie