Even though Bridget Jones’ Diary is over 10 years old, I watch the series once a year. It’s like paying respect to my days (years) of singlehood. Those years were a time when it was my mom and dad oohing and aaahing over what they thought was a new outfit and didn’t I look “fresh.” A time when I attended diner parties, Christmas parties, and weddings yet again alone. A time when every New Year’s my cousins would discuss, debate actually, and bet whether or not “this will be the year Carrie will find a man and marry.”

Although I am very grateful that time for me is over, I am compelled to pay homage to Jones annually. I deeply appreciate her struggles with singlehood as she searches, travels, and waits for someone to come through it all for her and with her (and love her wobbly bits along the way). Watching the movie this time I noticed a gem of wisdom. The moment occurs in the sequel The Edge of Reason. On a business trip to Thailand Jones is about to get romantically re-involved with Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant’s debaucherous, sexually promiscuous character who betrayed her previously). Back in his oceanside suite adorned with exotic flowers, burning torches, and bamboo furniture, Cleaver is in the middle of adoring as he calls them her “absolutely enormous panties” when unexpectedly Jones springs out from underneath him and declares she needs a moment. She excuses herself and retreats into the spa-like bathroom. She sits calmly and quietly on the edge of the bathtub, on the edge of reason. She reflects. She collects. She is still. She does what so many of us skip over; Jones creates a pause for herself.

In creating that pause, she connects with a powerful truth, her honest feelings, her intuition, her wisdom. She connects with herself. It is the pause that allows her to then spare herself the painful and messy consequences that come with involvement with a man like Daniel Cleaver. Creating that pause for herself enabled her to act in a way that moves her towards what she really wishes to create for herself: trading in the sexy bad boy for the chance at love with a man who turns out to be very sexy in all his “nice boy” ways. And more importantly, trading in the not so self respecting ways for a chance at feeling her immeasurable worth.

A pause was all that was required for her to make a profound transformation. A pause can make the world of difference for you too. Whenever you are conflicted, anxious, unsure, or getting caught up in what someone else feels or thinks, remember Jones, remember to create a pause for yourself and tune into your heart and soul. When we insert a pause our inner knowing will tell us what to do next.

Xo Carrie

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 9th, 2011 at 11:55 am and is filed under Breakups and Dating, Personal Development, Relationships and communicating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.